Have you ever had one of those amazing days where it all seems right? Well it must be great being you cause I sure as hell haven’t, and today seems to be another one of those no good very bad ones. Let’s go back a few minutes in time to when I agreed to play soccer.
I don’t know what broke in my memory for me to say yes to anything my friends suggested after the date room debacle. You’d think I would be more sane than this by now, but nope. I’m the walking definition of insanity. You know, doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome every time? That.
Well, I agreed to play. I put on the shorts – that were too small thanks to Gabi – and the mandatory blue jersey that had this weird chimera looking thing on it. I didn’t ask any questions that would give me a headache, which, in retrospect, is usually where I go wrong.
Note to self: Ask questions!
So fastforward through my amateur but still good footwork, a goal thanks to my assist, and a decent pep talk from Savanna, and you get me waiting for the ball to come my way. This is where it gets fuzzy. Literally. The ball was coming. My teammates were dribbling it and passing it from one to the next like pros. I watched as it went. One pass. Two passes. Three. Four. Then nothing. A shoe that did not belong to one of ours connected with the ball and sent it flying… at my face.
I don’t know if it was intentional or not. And, honestly, I don’t care. I swerved in time to miss the ball itself. What I didn’t dodge was the mud splatter that trailed after it.
With the comedic luck that I had, the mud hit the side of my face in a diagonal pattern. I was hit from the right side of my chin up to what felt like the outer edges of my left eyebrow. I think some got in my mouth. And what did my friends do? They stopped the game to laugh.
Needless to say, it’s time for new friends. Any takers?
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