If there is anything that I would never wish upon my worst enemies, it would be a goblin. They were by far the most irritating creatures that I have ever had to deal with. And I had dealt with many irritating creatures.
Would take training tigers again over having this ugly, wrinkled little talking irritation following me around the house. But unfortunately, I don’t have tigers around to train and I’m stuck with this awful little goblin. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve come home to find him in my underwear drawer or my jewelry box.
“Tiiiiiiiaaaaa,” I could feel my eyebrow twitch at the drawn out version of my name. Nothing would make me happier than to turn around and kick the creature out my open window. It wouldn’t faze him though, I’ve tried.
“What do you want now?” He never gave me a name to call him by so he was always just ‘goblin’ or ‘thing’ to me. It seemed to amuse him but it was all I had. There was no way in hell that I was going to name him. My mama always taught me not to name something if I didn’t want to get attached to it and the last thing I wanted to get attached to was a perverted, jewelry stealing goblin.
“Then go eat. You know full well where the pantry is.” In fact, he had lived in the house far longer than I had. Something about being unable to leave the property thanks to his curse.
I refused to look at him when a disgusting little wail echoed in my bedroom. I would not give into his irritating demands. “You know I can’t reach in this cursed form.” Oh, and apparently he wasn’t originally a goblin. He always says that he used to be a normal boy but was cursed by Pride and Vanity.
Sounds like a fitting punishment if you ask me. Only now, I wished that the idiot who cursed him had buried him inside of a box instead of just the house. Now, I was being punished because he was an asshole to the wrong person.
“Maybe you should have thought about that before you pissed off someone with the power to turn you into a foot tall creature from hell.”
“Maybe you should update your lingerie drawer or you’ll never get a boyfriend.” That was the final straw; I pushed away from my desk with a growl and turned around with leg in full swing. There was an advantage to playing soccer my entire life, I had great aim.
It may not have done anything to hurt him, but I felt immensely better when I heard a very satisfying thunk from the back yard. “He can eat dog food for all I care.” I muttered darkly as I sat back down to finish my homework. I had a half an hour at most before he managed to get back up the two flights of stairs to irritate me again. Why I couldn’t I be cursed with a friendly hobgoblin that would clean the house in the night instead of that irritating thing?
Sorry it’s late!!!
Next Creature: Hobgoblin