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More times than we like, we’re stuck waiting. We wait for a friend to get back to us about plans for the night. We wait for our parents to see we’re adults. We wait to be helped at a store. And those are the easier ones to contend with.

Coming at this from a student’s perspective, I find waiting to be a very thin tightrope over a raging body of water. To fall would result in me being swept away and the fear of falling is enough to make me look down uncertainly. Can I make it? Will my footing fail me? That’s how I view the waiting period between applications being sent out and the final verdict.

For a person who was able to get in whenever she tried, a waiting list is next to a failure. I know the positive side of the penny that glistens in the light but I also know the underside that has become one with the mud.

The people around me don’t make the stretched out wait easier. “Have you heard from them yet?” They ask. “What are you doing now?” I’m waiting and trying to continue with my life so I don’t go insane, thank you for reminding me of my predicament though.

I’m panning out back up plans. I’m reanalyzing decisions and dreams. I’m waiting on waiting lists. It isn’t a no but it isn’t a yes and I’m finding peace with that.

In the end, that is all we can do while waiting. We can’t let the mystery stress us out because it is out of our hands.

 

 

(part of reflection Tuesdays – not a fictional piece)

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