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I asked people about prompt ideas. One person suggested a rant about Tampa men. As crazy as it seemed at the time, I liked it so here it goes. I’m new to the area which mean it’s limited experience.

Welcome to Day 4: The Rant


(image from uptownmagazine.com)

Some things in life you can’t chose, feel free to pause and think about all the family members that make your eye twitch, and some thing you can. Apart from the well known family example, there is also height, shoe size, where your parents decided to raise you. Then there are the things that THANKFULLY we can be picky about. Yes, sure, friends are such a thing but where I’m going is past friendship. It’s bigger than what major you’re going to graduate with a B.A. in.

I’m sure you thought about it but figured there’s no way she’s going there. If you guessed that topic of selecting a significant other then DING, DING, DING, you’re right! I should warn you, this is no how-to guide. I’m not interested in telling anybody about guy or girl code. If you somehow learn something learn that location matters. That said…..

Tampa, Florida

I had to take a breath, twitch, and regroup just thinking about the dating pool down in the over hyped Sunshine State. I rather my snow and rude New Yorkers any day. Let me start from the top. Men….now, I am by no means a girly girl. I’m not submissive, clingy, or dependent on any man. I have a confidence most females my age don’t. That said, I have more guy friends than girl ones for the mere fact girls are backstabbing, emotional, grudge holding, gossips that quickly get on my nerves. Sorry ladies, but it’s true. I can’t blame guys for tuning most women out cause I know I do. But let me return to the true point, men in Tampa, least the ones I have met and heard about are no better. I truly hope that this circulates to somebody in the area and they can start a change in this sad behavior.

Perhaps it’s because I’m acclimated to the so called “New York Swag” or I’m because of my strong West Indies background, but I believe there is a lack of manliness down in the Florida water. I have met a good one, so I know they exist down here. Yay for the ten percent that can hold their own. What about the rest? They don’t know how to approach a girl, talk to her (mind you I’m not loving the southern drawl), or look right. Dreads are a style, I get that, but let’s stop using the “it’s hot” excuse for the reason everybody has them. I read an article about dreads and I had to agree with the author on one account, loving Bob Marley and smoking weed all day does not give you the right to grow your knotty, smelly hair into dreads. Just stop. And that’s to all races.

My question is, what do you think you’re doing with that particular hair? Who’s hiring you? If you walked into an interview I was conducting I’d wonder about you. Appearance matters in this society. For those with darker skin, don’t give anybody another reason to say no. For those with lighter skin, don’t envy the look. Unless you’re pioneering your own career or working at the lowest wrung, play it somewhat safe till you know you can’t be let go.

But I’m getting off one rant and onto another too soon.

I know girls can be scary. They have the make up on, sometimes you aren’t sure if what you’re seeing will be there after water washes the mask away, wear the occasional heel, have attitudes or personality instabilities. I get it. Shouldn’t let that stop you though. Ever think maybe you’re trying the wrong approach? Going over and hitting on her while she’s with her friends or out at a club might not be appealing because guess what, she doesn’t want to hear it. I don’t. Please leave the, “you’re so hot,” line at home. Try talking for once. Ask a question about the time and use it a platform (seriously, time was just an example, think of others).

And for those who like to do cat calls, hoot, holler, whistle, yell “damn”….STOP! The first few times I hear it, it’s empowering. I’m like yes, I got it tonight, but by the fifth time it happens I’m over it. I don’t care who you are, I will ignore you and possibly hurt your feelings if you try and talk to me. It’s annoying and to be honest, it is degrading. Now, for those girls who answer to it, again, STOP! You are why they keep doing it. Basic behavioral psychology (and possibly evolutionary but I have no evidence atm so moving on).

The problems I see, besides the hair with mismatched career choices and social etiquette, include cockiness and issues with emotions. When I say issues with emotions I don’t mean you can’t handle them, I’m referring to being WAY to in tune with them. I know I’m more dominant than the average girl out there but I shouldn’t feel like the “guy” in any situation. This is where cockiness comes in. I say this and then I get the guys who swear they’re above it all only to regress into the same rut. I can’t, Tampa, I simply can’t. I need a strong back bone. I need somebody who can hold a conversation, hasn’t been pursuing the same undergrad degree for six years, parties all day and night with people too young for them, knows other music than stripper or gang-banging music, and has a maturity level my little sister won’t make fun of. Grow up. It’s 2013.

…..so done.